Tuesday, April 19, 2016

A Harrowing Tale

There I was, ready to make an eternal happily ever after vow to my homosexual lover. The White House had just turned rainbow in 2015. I was so glad I had voted for Barack Obama, who had always espoused his love of homosexual marriage. Our wedding had been set up as an exact replica of heterosexual weddings, where fathers sell their daughters' virgin pussies to other men as a business arrangement and the daughters demand everyone purchase a lot of expensive stuff that will never be used again and everyone has a grand time dancing to "Crazy In Love" at the afterparty. The man buying the daughter pussy then gets to break the hymen of the virginal daughter.
Everything was going according to plan until I looked at the cake, on which I had requested "Love Wins," one of my favorite sayings, be written. "Love Wins" are two words that have really inspired my homosexual lover and me. Every now and then I'll just whisper in his ear, "Love Wins," and we'll both know that atheist God approves of our sodomite union. Two little plastic men in tuxedos stood atop the cake. I chuckled. What would that shy, bullied child I used to be think if he could see me now? If only my bullies could see my "Love Wins" cake.
Underneath "Love Wins" I saw another word, however. That word was the word "Fag." "Love Wins Fag." I didn't know what Christian had done this but I sure was angry. I made a video of myself ranting about it on my YouTube channel where I espouse my socialist views. How could this injustice have taken place? I couldn't believe it was still so hard to be a homosexual in 2016. Christians and lower middle class white people made it so hard for me to be my true self. Nancy Reagan's legacy of AIDS also made it hard for me to be my true self, because the Reagans had invented AIDS and then refused to sell the cure for it, which they had also invented, to homosexuals. Who could I sue to get cake justice and end white supremacy? I consulted my Muslim friend, who is just like me and has compatible beliefs. He suggested I create a hashtag to spread awareness about my homosexual wedding injustice.
"Ahmed, you're a genius!" I said, hugging and kissing him.
"Phooey!" He spat like a cat hacking a furball. He pretended to hate it when I kissed him, but I knew he was only teasing.


  1. Hey Jack,

    Am I right to assume you've taken a break from posting?

    1. Not consciously! I've just been neglectful and also focused on looking for work. I will start up again soon and try to post more regularly.